Bacardi Girl

Sue originally planned on leaving her parents’ home early Sunday morning… but the thought of walking back into apartment and spending all day without Daniel there, was something she didn’t want to do.

After dinner and tea, Sue packed up her car, with Tibs and Kitty and headed home. Her mum whispered gently in her ear, ‘We love you, it will be OK, I’m here if you need me.’

Sue hugged her parent’s goodbye before heading home… It started to rain as she drove home. Somehow that rain, made her weep, as she drove in the dark. It wasn’t long before she’d be home, and could barely look at the vet practice as she drove by. There were no lights on as she turned the corner and Daniel’s car was missing. Then she noticed a strange car parked up by the side of the building.

Thinking for a minute it could be Clare’s car she was tempted to stop and let the tyres down. She smirked and thought about it for that split second and drove on.

The rain was getting heavier now, as she got out of the car, slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed Tibs and Kitty from the rear seat. Hurriedly, she entered her apartment building, got in the lift and raced to her door. Hoping that inside would be Daniel. She opened the door and nothing, no noise, no lights just complete darkness and a lonely cold feeling hit her.

She went to the kitchen, poured out the cat milk for Tibs and Kitty, before pouring herself a very large scotch.

She sat on the sofa, turned on the TV, and started to watch some detective story, ‘Dobbs and something’. As she sat there sipping her drink, it was dawning on her what she had said to Daniel. She soon realised, that she had told him to pack his stuff, leave the keys and go. With her parting shot of… Clare can take you as well. She’s took everything else.

She started to sob… and screamed out ‘What have I done’. She checked her answerphone, nothing. Not even a missed call. She picked up her phone and started to call Daniel, she keyed in his number and then deleted it. Her once loving, friendly apartment was no longer, it was like gloom and doom pervaded the whole of her home.

Slowly one drink turned into another, when there was a knock on the door… racing to the door as fast as she could hoping it was Daniel, she opened the door and was just about to blurt out, ‘I’m so sorry, I love you.’ when she quickly realised it was Jean.

‘Hi, Sue,’ Jean said, ‘I was hoping to catch you yesterday, did your friend find you OK? I did tell her what number flat you were, but I don’t think she really paid attention to what I was saying.’

Sue said, ‘Come in…’

Jean had never really been into Sue’s flat for any length of time, and as far as she got was the kitchen. Sue was neighbourly with Jean, but they weren’t best buddies or anything like that. In fact, Sue thought to herself that her and Jean had nothing in common.

Jean sat down on the sofa, and joined her for a drink, and Sue told her the whole story about Clare. She hadn’t even told Daniel what really happened that night at the party. Sue told Jean that she thinks everyone was in mortal shock of two lovely people losing their lives, just like that. Daniel at the time couldn’t bring himself to go to Tim’s inquest it was too painful, and never really spoke of Tim ever again. He had told her that was his way of dealing with the pain. Similar to hers in a way, blotting out that complete chapter of her life.

Sue went on telling Jean about how she went to Tim’s inquest and to this day can remember those cold stark words of his suicide note being read out for all to hear. He simply said life wouldn’t be the same without Chloe and he just couldn’t go on. He said sorry to his mum, and his brother and sister, and told them to remember him when he was happy… happy with Chloe and not to remember as a broken man…

She then went on to tell Jean, how the row had erupted between her and Daniel when she jumped up, headed for the bathroom and was promptly sick as a parrot.

Sue came out of the bathroom, looking rather greenish and looked at Jean and said, ‘That’s the scotch.’ Jean told Sue to go to bed and left… Sue went and laid on the bed and fell asleep.

It was roughly, 6am, when Sue woke up, and was promptly sick yet again. Thinking she couldn’t turn into work this way, she phoned the office and told them, she’d caught a bug and would be into work in a couple of days.

Monday and Tuesday, Sue just laid there, feeling constantly nauseous; every time she tried to eat anything, even a plain biscuit, she was sick. She still hadn’t heard from Daniel but felt too ill to worry about it.

Wednesday came, and she still didn’t feel much better but she wasn’t as sick as she had been the two days before, when her phone rang. It was her mother checking in. ‘Hey mum, what did you put in that Saffron Lobster Risotto? I’ve been sick and bad since Sunday evening.’

‘Nothing darling’ Sue’s mum replied, ‘Your dad and I are, OK? Do you want me to get Dad to drop me off?’

‘No, it’s OK mum, I’ve phoned in work, I’ll be OK. I don’t want you or dad catching this.’ Sue politely said her goodbyes and went to back to bed. That night she slept like a log yet again, and woke up on Thursday morning feeling slightly sick but nowhere near as bad as it had been.

In fact, she wandered whether it would be better to go into the office, because now her mind was returning back to Daniel and how she so missed him and being at home made those feelings so raw… as she looked at where he sat. Even the bathroom wasn’t the same… his shaving gear gone, his toothbrush missing from the holder.

She sat on the bathroom floor and cried and cried… why had she been such a fool! God, how she hated Clare. How could she face the people at work, like this!

By the afternoon, she felt a little bit better and thought there is nothing like a bit of retail therapy. But she just couldn’t muster up the energy to try on clothes yet alone, keep saying to the girl on the fitting rooms, ‘Does this dress make me look fat.’ So, she just laid on the sofa, cuddled up to Tibs and Kitty watching day-time soaps on some channel or other.

Every day, Jean had knocked and asked if she wanted anything… Jean was the only person she saw this week, in fact, Jean was the only person, apart from her parents, who knew Daniel and her had split up. During that week Sue got to know Jean far more than she ever had. And they seemed to get along swimmingly. They had far more in common then Sue had previously thought.

It was Friday morning before she knew it. And she needed a few things from the local shop. She hadn’t properly eaten anything since Sunday, only the odd biscuit or two, a mere morsel of food. As she got ready, she looked at herself in the mirror. The image looking back at her was not this once curvy lady, she looked gaunt. Her eyes had sunken in, and she looked grey and boy had she lost weight over this week.

She put on some foundation, grabbed her purse and sunglasses and headed for the hallway table to get her keys. When she opened the drawer where she kept her keys, she saw this white envelope, with Sue written on it. Inside was a note, saying ‘I’m sorry, Love Daniel’ along with her apartment key and lobby key.

She took a deep breath and headed out of the door, desperately trying to stop the tears from flowing. But her heart and mind kept saying, once he was mine, now he’s hers. Concentrating on her shopping list was the only way to stop the tears from falling again. She was just about to jump in the car, when all of a sudden, she was sick right there on the car park floor, only this time she felt dizzy as well.

Hastily, she went back up to her apartment, picked up the phone and called her mum and asked her to come over.

Next thing she heard, was the key going into the latch… and her mum, shouting ‘Sue, Sue.’

‘I’m in here mum, I think I need a doctor, I don’t feel too good at all.’

That afternoon her mum – who was persistent in getting her an emergency appointment – took her to the surgery, that was close to their home. In fact, Sue never changed doctors when she moved out of her parent’s house. Dr Greenfield, had been her doctor since she can remember and she trusted him. Truthfully, Sue was never sick, and the last time she needed a Dr was way back, before she even moved into her apartment.

Sue and her mum waited silently until her name was called.

She told the Dr Greenfield, about what had happened at university and her split with Daniel. He listened tentatively to her and then prescribed her something to try and settle her stomach and a low dosage anti-depressant. He told her the nurse would take bloods, and would do a urine test. He then carried on and told her that the trauma of what had happened all those years ago, had resurfaced and had now been released and she was probably suffering from anxiety/PTSD. This was compounded by the fact that she was also mentally dealing with her break-up with Daniel.

He gave her a sick-note for two weeks, and told her to make another appointment for a week’s time when he should have all the blood/urine results back. Deep down she had this sense of fear of what these tests would reveal.

Sue knew the following week waiting to go back to see Dr Greenfield for her results, was going to be the longest week ever. And still, there was no word from Daniel….

More to follow…